Monday, December 8, 2008

How we're feeling...

Kim and I had a pseudo-chuckle regarding the question "how are you doing?" during this time. For me, the answer depends on the time of day. I wake with great hope and it dwindles as the day progresses with no more news. But, if you REALLY want to know how we are doing this is the best I can do to describe it...

Matthew wrote a poem to purge his feelings:
Vacant crib,
Idle toys,
Barren room,
Empty arms.

Blank walls,
Deserted picture frames,
Hollow silence,
Destitute heart.

Desolate clothes,
Unfilled bottles,
Vacuous nights,
Wanting eyes.

Unoccupied chair,
Dry formula,
Voided expectations,
Deflated smiles.

Forsaken body,
Depleted blood,
Abandoned tomb,
Risen Lord.

I am less creative and can only steal someone else's creativity to explain myself...

"I'm waiting for tonight, and then waiting for tomorrow...
I'm somewhere in between what is real and just a dream"
Somewhere in between complete peace and total despair.

7 comments: said...

Wow- Matthew's poem is so raw & beautifully captures what we 'see' as our minds go numb.

Sherry said...

Nikki - I'm with you friend! I know what you're feeling and it isn't fun! Praying for miracles!

Blessings - Sherry Semlow

beBOLDjen said...

I'm so sorry. It's so hard.

Praying for you.

Kristy said...

I wish I could say something that A. would not be stupid or redundant and B. would be comforting, but I have nothing. My heart is broken for you guys and your little boy. Thank you for sharing with all of us, the good with the bad. We are in constant prayer for all of you.

Kim said...

Thank you for being so honest with all of us bloggy friends. I continue to pray for you all and that you will have your son home soon!

Kimberly Kulp said...

I heart you, Nikki, for your bravery and for walking this journey with me. You're honesty is encouraging me to be more honest as well (though perhaps just in emails back and forth...) I can't wait to see you holding little Eli and his sweet smile as you kiss him!

Cling to the rock, Nikki!


Anonymous said...

I am praying for your family! I cannot wait to see your holding Eli in your arms one day soon!