Savages

Default to Yes

2011-01-24T00:22:00.001-05:00

Many of you reading this are not aware of how or why our second adoption started. So let me tell the story for those of you interested.

AWAA has a “waiting child” list for Ethiopia. This is a list of orphaned children who need to be adopted and are waiting for homes because they generally have some sort of special need (medical concerns, older in age, sibling groups, etc.) We look at this list from time to time and pray for the children to find families and homes.

One day I was looking at the list and came upon a sibling group of two children, one of which was HIV+. For some reason, I felt immediately compelled to go upstairs to Matthew, even though it was very late at night, and ask what he thought of adopting them. We prayed, and decided to pursue it.

Now, just to clarify, we will not be adopting these children. Before we could even get far enough into the process, the children were pursued by another family- praise God. But I bring it up to share our hearts and what God has taught us.

You see, when we prayed, we both said that we felt like God was NOT saying “these are YOUR kids, pursue them headlong!” But rather, He was saying “default to yes.” He has commanded us to care for orphans and widows. And when the opportunity to do so presents itself, He wants us to default to doing so. So rather than praying “should we care for this orphan?” we pray “is there a reason NOT to care for this orphan?”

I do believe that every big decision should be bathed in prayer, wise counsel, and consideration. And I know that not everyone is called to adopt, or foster. Just the same, not everyone is called to go overseas for missions. But we are all called to participate. So for us, we will default to yes.

For Reals

2010-12-31T17:37:00.002-05:00

Alright, we finally did it. For real this time...we mailed in our program agreement and first payment for our next adoption. So we should be getting a call in a week or so telling us who our Family Coordinator is and our instructions for paperchasing. Also, our Social Worker will be notified to contact us to do the homestudy. She's a pretty speedy lady so that part won't take long, I suspect.

Even though we've done this before it's a whole new ball game this time. First of all, we're in a different state which changes things. Second, Ethiopia now requires two trips rather than one. And third, our agency now requires us to do Hague training which we didn't have to do last time. So, while I have gotten a bit of a head start on the paperchasing, I really do have to wait for my instructions.

December

2010-12-16T00:59:00.003-05:00

December has been quite the month for us. Specifically, last Wednesday was quite the day. I received an email from Isabelle's social worker stating that they had identified a home that could accomodate Isabelle and her siblings together, and that there would be a meeting to discuss transitioning her on 12/14/10. We were so sad to hear about her moving, but also hopeful that she would be placed with a great family where she could maintain a relationship with her siblings. We didn't even know if we would be able to see her open the Christmas gifts we had bought her. It was heartbreaking. Then on 12/14/10 I was preparing mentally for the meeting in two hours that would determine Izzie's fate with us, and the social worker called to say that the meeting was canceled and the prospective family was no longer an option. She will indeed spend Christmas with us, and we are back on the roller coaster ride that is foster care.

Something else happened last Wednesday. Sadly, two of our beloved pastors (Matthew's co-workers) resigned from their positions at the church. For those of you who don't know- that's 50% of the staff! It is so sad to say goodbye to our friends, but they are leaving to chase after the Lord's will for their lives and we are excited to see what the Lord has in store for Matt and Chris, as well as the Journey Church.

I don't think we could possibly experience an emotion that hasn't been experienced in the past couple of weeks. But as always, there is hope!

No movement with adoption. Much movement everywhere else!

2010-11-08T16:07:00.003-05:00

Well, in case anyone is wondering, there is no movement on the adoption. None. We got the phone call about being approved, followed by the email with some program agreements and such to sign and send back with our first payment. And there it still sits, in my inbox.

Mostly, I think Isabelle's placement has derailed us a bit. We've got our hands full with two pre-schoolers. And though they are both very easy on us, the appointments with social workers, educational specialists, phone calls from parents, paperwork, etc. are quite time consuming. In fact, right now I must go pick her up from daycare and take her to a well-child exam that is required within 21 days of placement. But it is a blast, it is a blessing, and we love it (and her!).

So, hopefully the blog will not go ignored for another 9 months!

First Foster Kid!

2010-10-28T01:27:00.002-04:00

Well, we got our first foster placement today! It was quite chaotic (I expected nothing less, really). We were originally told she would be placed Friday, then Tuesday, then Wednesday, then back to Friday, and finally back to today! Whew! So the day has involved picking her up from previous home, enrolling in daycare, washing clothes, taking the paper shredder and computer out of her room and replacing with toys, filling out papers, papers, papers. Eeek!

She is 3.5 years old and her name is Isabelle. I can't say much because of confidentiality, but she is sweet, mild-mannered, and well-behaved (so far :). Picky eater, which is new to us because Eli will generally stuff anything in his mouth. And she has really taken to Matthew. Eli's been a bit jealous, but he's been really good to her (again, so far :)

Life just got a bit busier!

Here we go again!

2010-10-26T00:04:00.003-04:00

Well, let's see. The last post was almost 9 months ago?? I got away from blogging and considered just deleting it altogether since facebook seems like a sufficient way of keeping people updated with our lives. BUT we have officially been approved to pursue our second adoption, which means there will be many details to share that not everyone on facebook is going to care about.

So here's a quick update on the last 9 months:
Eli turned two last Valentine's day and is quickly approaching 3! Physically, he is doing great! He has completed his occupational therapy and is above average in height (so hard to believe the little guy that was waaaay below growth charts is now towering over his peers). He still receives speech therapy twice per month. His vocabulary is okay, but his articulation is low which may lead to him attending a developmental pre-school in the spring.

Matthew and I decided to become foster parents. We have been licensed for a couple weeks now, but have not had a placement yet. The only phone call we've gotten for a placement happened to be when we were out of town and unavailable :(

And, as previously stated, we decided to pursue our second adoption. We are requesting one or two children, 0-5 years old, either boy or girl from Ethiopia. And we said we would consider special needs. First order of business is filling out some paperwork and sending it to our agency with the first program fee. Then the paperchase begins!

Stay tuned for more details!

Christmas Pictures

2010-02-01T01:00:00.004-05:00

A little late posting, obviously, but Cheramy took some family photos for us in celebration of our first Christmas together.

Another successful court date!

2009-09-16T17:26:00.004-04:00

When you adopt from Ethiopia, you have to re-adopt the child once you get back to the states. So, on September 14th we headed to court and Amanuel officially became Elijah Amanuel. We will receive a new Washington State birth certificate with his new name sometime around December. Then we can apply for a certificate of citizenship. And then on to his social security card. I'm not convinced the paperchasing ever ends! But, of course, it's worth every second.

Here we are with the Honorable Judge Lucas

Eli even got to stamp his decree!

Family Photos

2009-09-11T23:17:00.012-04:00

When we were in Ohio for my family's reunion, my mom had a photographer (www.heritagestudioandgallery.com) come take some family photos. Here are some of my favorites:

Eli loves to give this scowl to people. He has found that it is good for a sure-fire laugh. He will scowl, look at each and EVERY person in the room to make sure everyone has seen it, then he will bust out laughing- as will everyone else. He is quite the ham.

See, here is the laugh that follows the scowl...

Here's my family. This is only my immediate family. With all my aunts, uncles, and cousins there were about 50 of us. This photo has my brothers, parents, brother-in-law, sister and nieces.

Referral-versary

2009-09-01T18:27:00.006-04:00

One year ago from last Saturday we received our referral for Eli and saw his face for the first time!

This is one of the first pictures we received of him...it's hard to recognize this emaciated baby.

Here's some of what we've been up to this summer:
Hiking at the Olmpic Peninsula

First ferry ride

Visiting the Wards and Quinlans in L'ville. Funny, Eli does not appear amused by the girls' attire :)

First time swimming. He appears to be having fun here, but really not so much.

This was more up his alley.

Good Times

2009-06-23T01:05:00.007-04:00

So, the other day Eli and I were sitting in his room reading a book. In the middle of the story he decides to get up and crawl into mine and Matt's room (he's exhibiting signs of ADD already :) After a little bit, I start to wonder...what could he be doing in there? Ah...THIS is what he's doing:

And this is his reaction to me putting my clothes back where they belong.

And his newest trick!

5 months home

2009-06-06T01:06:00.010-04:00

Eli's been home with us for 5 months now. He is growing like crazy. If you think about it, Eli was 13 pounds when we brought him home at 11 months old. Most of my friends' kids weigh that much at around 3 months. Now, Eli weighs 21 pounds and is actually on the charts, albeit only the 5th percentile, for a 15 month old. So, that means that he has done 12 months worth of growing and developing in 5 months time. Ahhh, this explains why his napping and eating needs are never the same from day to day. Things are looking good, though. He is standing, pulling up, and walking with help. I think he could take a few steps, but he will just gracefully sit himself down if you let go. His PT says that he is a very cautious baby, but that we'll be grateful when he doesn't have all the broken bones and stitches that other boys get. True!

I'll post some pictures and you can see how much he's changed since my last post! (they go most recent to less recent)

I was trying to get a picture of Eli in the treasu(red) outfit I bought before we even had a referral, hence the wrestling move I am trying to perform on him...the boy doesn't stay still any longer.

This is his "busted" look- no remorse :) Man, are we in trouble!

I swear we did not sedate him for this haircut...

Here's us at the beach...I know what our Houston friends are thinking..."where's the beach?!? And why are they in jackets?!?"

And of course, we still get the tongue sticking out at us...when he's happy, when he's mad, when he's full, whenever!

Cardiology and Physical Therapy

2009-03-23T23:25:00.002-04:00

Last week was a busy week for little Eli. He had a visit from the Early Intervention worker on Monday. Then Wednesday we drove downtown to Children's Hospital for the cardiologist appointment. After waiting a month for the appointment, driving downtown, and setting aside 3 hours for the appointment (yes, seriously...the intake was at 11:00 and the echo was scheduled for 1pm) we arrived and the doctor spent approximately 3 minutes with us before stating that it was a "classic" heart murmur that was no problem and no other tests were necessary. So, it was a relief, though a bit anti-climatic. Then Friday was his physical therapy evaluation. I think he actually had a lot of fun playing with the therapist and all her toys...until she laughed at him. He is a very senstive boy, and when she laughed he stuck his bottom lip out and let the tears start flowing. This has got to be the funniest thing that Eli does. I know it's not nice, but whenever he does this I start laughing so hard I cry. You just can't believe how far that bottom lip comes out. But anyway :), she said that his gross motor skills are that of a 7 month old. But fine motor skills, cognition, and social skills are significantly better. She also said that there is nothing preventing him from developing skills or causing the delay, but that it is purely a lack of experience due to all the time he spent laying in a crib on his back. Which means we should have a mover and a shaker in no time!

Physical Therapy update

2009-03-12T14:10:00.002-04:00

I kind of left you guys hanging regarding Eli's physical therapy needs with my last post. So let me ease your minds :) When the physical therapist called to let us down gently, she also gave us information for some government programs that are free. And since we are up to our eyeballs in post-placement visits, alien tax identification, re-adoption, and what seems like a never-ending adoption process (it doesn't end when the child comes home!), we are just too weary to fight with insurance. So, Early Intervention is the program that is used in our school district. A very nice lady, Monica, came over on Monday to evaluate Elijah, and she has made a referral for him to get physical therapy at a local practice. She said there is a waiting list but I'm not sure how long.

Boo!

2009-03-05T01:22:00.004-05:00

As previously mentioned, Eli's doctor has recommended (twice now) that we take Eli to a physical therapist. We contacted the physical therapist he recommended and scheduled an evaluation for tomorrow. Well, the physical therapist's office called to say that our insurance company has flagged it as "dummy claim" and won't be covering any services. (I'm not sure who the dummy is here- us or our doctor). Lucky for me, I saved the following letter that Margo wrote to her insurance company so that I could one day use it myself (slightly adapted for our situation):

"Dear Losers:

You guys suck. And you suck hard. This letter is to inform you of your complete suckage. Please accept this as part of my documentation for my LEVEL 2 appeal in the decision to deny coverage for services for my son.

Apparently, my first letter and the letter from the pediatrician was not enough information for you. While I understand that everyone at your organization is smarter than the doctors who request the work done, please don’t let that get in the way of denying my second attempt to plea for coverage.

If I thought for one second your ignorance regarding the changing world view of family building would be enlightened, I would take the time to report to you why it DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE that my child is from Ethiopia. You say on the phone that you will treat my child like any other child when it comes to reviewing what is routine or not routine work. I assume you mean you will treat my child like a child born in America, in a hospital with doctors and nurses, to a woman who probably took pre-natal vitamins and had routine check-ups during her pregnancy. Who then went home to live in a clean, semi-sterile environment and had well baby visits at birth and then monthly until 6 months.

My child is unique in the fact that very little is known about his early months. It is possible that he was born in a small hut on the dirt floor with no doctors or nurses around. It is possible that he was then exposed to a myriad of diseases that are common right now in Africa. We have no way of knowing the medical situation of his birth mother or family. Even after being delivered to his orphanage where I praise God for the women that took such loving care of him, it is still possible that he didn’t receive the best medical care.

So it is upsetting to me that you would deny coverage for something that his pediatrician thought was medically necessary to ensure his continued good health. More upsetting is the fact that you haven’t made changes in your policies to account for the rapidly growing number of international families being made through the miracle of international adoption.

So, until you do that, I’ll continue to tell the physicians that you (evil doers) have their money and give them your number."

Elijah's Birthday

2009-02-25T01:38:00.006-05:00

Eli turned one year old on Valentine's Day! I'm sure he had no idea why people were singing at him, letting him get frightening close to fire, and handing him boxes covered in pretty paper meant to be torn to pieces. But he seemed to enjoy himself nonetheless.

Here's Eli reading his new book from Grammy and PaPa.

"Thanks Maddie and Emerson!"

In addition to a birthday party, Eli also got his one-year check up with the doctor on Monday. The doctor was pleased with his growth. He is actually on the charts regarding his height now...his weight is still 0% but we're getting there. However, Dr. Bissey did find a heart murmur so we got a referral for a cardiologist and a referral for a physical therapist due to his lack of crawling and walking. Then 5 shots later we were heading back home, slightly heavy-hearted but overall hopeful.

2009-02-07T23:02:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure that I ever mentioned it, but we have a birthday for Elijah (when we were given the referral, we were told that he was born in March 2008 but the date was unknown). We thought we were going to be essentially making up a birthday for him, but when we arrived in Ethiopia his birth certificate and passport had a February birthday listed. He turns one year in a week! That's right- Valentine's Day will never be the same for me and Matthew :) And as Alecia's daughter pointed out- Eli will get A LOT of cards on his birthday when he's in school.

Here are the latest pictures....

I know people are probably tempted to think this is Eli's "suprised" camera look, but it's not. His eyes are always this way...seriously.

And he's sitting now! He's officially an "unassisted sitter." And a Texans fan, apparently.

Now, this is his Michael Jordan look. He LOVES bathtime. He seriously loves it when I squirt him in the face with his toys or pour water over his head. And he knows exactly how to close his eyes and mouth, and starts blowing out his nose. I can't wait to take him swimming this summer!

Meeting Dr. Bissey

2009-01-22T13:09:00.003-05:00

We had an appointment with Eli's pediatrician on Monday. He has gained two pounds in two weeks! I think Eli is rather fond of Dr. Bissey, but I'm quite sure he never wants to see the phlebotomist again. She got half the blood she needed out of his first arm, and he was such a trooper- he barely wimpered. But his blood started clotting and she needed more. She asked if she could try the other arm or if I would rather wait. Well, he handled it so well and there we were, so I said to go ahead. Bad decision! The veins rolled in his other arm and he was screaming a new scream we've never heard before. His needle-phobic dad was out in the hallway listening to the torture while I was left to restrain the slippery little sucker. We finally gave up, so the hepatitis compound was not run but that's okay- he had that test in Africa. We were able to find out that he is not anemic anymore, and he does not have HIV or any parasites. All good news! And today he started rolling over. We are making real progress here!

I'm not a fan of naked baby pictures, but here's Eli showing off his battle wounds, happy as a clam.

Notice all the chub, the hair, and two new teeth up top!

2009-01-15T01:39:00.004-05:00

Things are going well in the Savage home! Elijah has been easy on us first-time parents. He is such a happy baby! Sometimes he will just start laughing and laughing...he even snorts sometimes :) I have a greater appreciation for the video Sara sent (posted previously) because everytime I bust out the video camera to capture these episodes, he stops dead in his tracks and just stares at it- that doesn't make for very exciting footage.

Eli is getting about 5 teeth all at once (no exaggeration). He was not too happy about it yesterday but he copes pretty well, thanks to his mad self-soothing, finger-sucking skills. Everyone says he is already putting on weight. I should say so! He is eating more than double what they fed him in Africa! The worst part of his day is when his bottle runs out. He starts sucking air, and when I try to take the bottle away he gets a death grip on it and a panicked look in his eyes. So, then I have to be a meanie and PULL it from his biting down teeth. Then I have to hide the bottle immediately so that he will stop crying. It has just been the last day or two that he has actually set down his bottle or fallen asleep with a little left. And for two nights in a row, he has slept for 11-12 hours straight! I think he is finally full!

Here's Eli with Grandma:

The Schulz's gave Eli this bouncer...it is seriously the only toy-like object that he has shown any interest in...He is usually more amused by his hands and feet

Eli hanging with his cousins

He LOVES being around other kids!

Pictures

2009-01-04T03:09:00.009-05:00

Meeting Elijah

Dressing like Daddy

We thought it was funny they are still proudly displaying this poster at the airport...Of course, in Ethiopia it is 2001 so Boeing still has 7 years to deliver.

As promised, here is the picture of Matthew playing hide-and-seek. Look closely.

Yes, that's an electrical outlet in our shower at the hotel in Addis.

We're Home!

2009-01-04T02:14:00.003-05:00

It was a great homecoming (well, aside from the fact that our other two luggage bags did not arrive- it made unpacking very easy!) Many of our friends and church family were there to greet us and meet Elijah. Suzi and Mike had driven our car with the car seat in it to the airport for us. So we drove home, and just as I was dreading going into our cold home that we had bumped down to 64 degrees before leaving, we walked in to a warm home that Suzi had stocked with fruit and frozen lasagna, and a crockpot of Chili that April left cooking for us! What a blessing!

Eli seems to have slipped right into west coast time...He slept from 9pm until 3am. Then he ate and had a diaper change, and went back to bed until 8am. I took him to the clinic today and he has the beginnings of a double ear infection. I'm not suprised, he's been yanking his ears for a couple days now. Ear infection or not, he's still charming. He had everyone at the clinic oohing and aaahing. The hard part was seeing their faces when they asked how old he was and my response was "10 months." But the doctor did not act shocked, which the important part. She said to feed him on demand, start introducing rice cereal with some veggies, and that he'd catch up in no time.

As Chrissie put it, we had an "eventful" trip, but it was obviously worth it. The court delays were hard, but I can see now how we were blessed by traveling with the Sparrs and Tennants. The Sparrs adopted an absolutely adorable 5 year old girl, and the Tennants a handsome 2 year old boy. Even though we were adopting such different children, we marveled at the fact that we each had been prepared with items that the others needed (Unfortunately, Candy was given the task of acquring the flu before leaving so that she would have that magic pill to give me so I didn't end up in a third world hospital). The Sparrs have two other children at home so they were able to guide us in taking care of an infant, and the Tennants have adopted previously so their tips on attachment were priceless. It was also such an amazing experience to see how well the older children attached to their parents and immediately blended into the family. I am already stalking their blogs to see how the kids like their new brothers and sisters!

This is getting long, so I'll end by saying that the AWAA staff in Ethiopia is amazing! We didn't get to meet Rachel (boo!) because she was in Italy, vacationing I assume. But we were impressed with the doctors, nurses, and nannies. And most impressed with Robel. He makes a great guide (though he is much more than just that)as he never seems to grow tired of sharing about the history and culture of Ethiopia. And he has an amazing heart for the children of Ethiopia. AWAA families- take advantage of your time with him and ask lots of questions. He's kind of humble, but if you ask questions his testimony will come out and you'll be amazed.

Thank God it's Thursday!

2008-12-31T23:27:00.001-05:00

Sorry for the gap in between posts. Tuesday went pretty smoothly with the embassy appointment and taking the children back to the hotel with us. Eli was great on Tuesday- he barely made a peep and is really a happy baby. He loves kisses and giggles anytime he gets them from anyone! Wednesday proved to be a rougher day. We were supposed to take the kids and go visit the orphanages that they came from. Unfortunatley, I spent the day vomitting, and Matthew got a brief glimpse into the life of a single parent as he ventured out with Eli without me. He said the first orphanage was so hard to see, and the kids who came from there did not seem to respond well to the visit. And since Eli was having blow-out diaper, after blow-out diaper he decided that he would pass on visiting Eli's orphanage. I was still sick when they returned but Candy gave me a magic stop-vomitting pill that put me to sleep for 12 hours and I am now awake feeling much better. Matthew and Eli are sleeping and both are pretty conjested and dehydrated. My bag never arrived (Julia and Janet- I got your packages to your kiddos on Tuesday. Fortunately they were in our other bag that did arrive). I am definitely glad we kept our expectations low for this trip!

So today we are pretty much just relaxing until we head to the airport at 7pm. We're ready to be home!

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We're Here!

2008-12-29T11:07:00.001-05:00

I have to keep it short, because the internet is slow and Robel (our guide) is coming soon to take our group to dinner.

So the short of it is that we arrived in Addis this morning. In keeping with the rest of our trip- my suitcase did not arrive with us. But Matt and Eli's did, fortunately. We were driven to the hotel, checked-in and had an hour to meet the rest of our travel group for our lunch/orientation session which had been pushed back in order to wait for us. Then....We met Elijah! It was so fun and he is so good natured. While we were there the doctor at the transition home checked him and gave us some advice regarding food and what to do when we get home because he is very malnourished. He weighed in at 13 pounds at 10 months old. The doctor is great btw, for those of you with little ones there.

Tomorrow we have pick him back up from the transition home, have our embassy appointment, take him back to TH, go shopping for things we may need, and pick him back up....for good!

Kim- no luck on the smile on video but those nannies sure know how to get it out of him! And wait until you see what he was wearing today! ;) Think pink

Janet- your little one was all smiles! Just woke up from a nap.

Julia- your little one was also napping away with a little buddy. They were snuggling up- so cute!

More tomorrow...

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Stuck in D.C.

2008-12-27T17:19:00.002-05:00

Well, we left Seattle on Friday, December 26th for D.C. It was quite an experience from the get-go. When we woke up on Friday, our tickets had still not arrived via FedEx. We had called the airline, and they assured us that because of the way the tickets were booked we would NOT be getting on the plane without tickets. So, Matthew woke up bright and early to drive to FedEx and hunt down our tickets. He got home at 9:45am with our tickets- our ride showed up at 10am to take us to the airport! Whew! Unfortunately, we arrived in Seattle and were immediately warned that the flight was delayed 20 minutes...we only had a one hour layover in D.C. Well, 20 minutes turned into 3 hours. We knew before we ever left Seattle that we would miss our flight to London. So we arrived in D.C. last night, and don't have another flight until 10pm tonight. We are scheduled to arrive in Ethiopia Monday morning, a full 24 hours later than planned. We spoke with our Program Director this morning (actually we've talked to her everyday this week!) and she assured us that we would not be missing anything that would get in the way of us heading back on time.

There are so many other details that have gone astray...Matthew and I weren't sure whether to laugh or cry, so laughing seemed like the best option. Matthew has proven to be very entertaining during the wait. He even played a little game of hide-and-seek earlier, but I'm not sure who he thought he was playing with :) And in case you think I'm kidding, I've got pictures I'll post later to prove it.

We'll keep y'all updated.

Christmas Time!

2008-12-18T20:28:00.007-05:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

And the stockings were hung by the chimney with care...

Well, somewhere under here is the street to our neighborhood

Brionna, this is trusty Uncle Matt waiting to catch you! We can't wait to see you guys!

Introducing Elijah Amanuel Savage

2008-12-12T18:46:00.006-05:00

We got news today that our case passed successfully through court and Elijah is legally, officially our son! Enjoy the photos, but please no snide comments about the princess outfit or the fact that they accidentally call him a girl in the video...Matthew is a little sensitive about it :)

How we're feeling...

2008-12-08T17:52:00.004-05:00

Kim and I had a pseudo-chuckle regarding the question "how are you doing?" during this time. For me, the answer depends on the time of day. I wake with great hope and it dwindles as the day progresses with no more news. But, if you REALLY want to know how we are doing this is the best I can do to describe it...

Matthew wrote a poem to purge his feelings:
Vacant crib,
Idle toys,
Barren room,
Empty arms.

Blank walls,
Deserted picture frames,
Hollow silence,
Destitute heart.

Desolate clothes,
Unfilled bottles,
Vacuous nights,
Wanting eyes.

Unoccupied chair,
Dry formula,
Voided expectations,
Deflated smiles.

Forsaken body,
Depleted blood,
Abandoned tomb,
Risen Lord.

I am less creative and can only steal someone else's creativity to explain myself...

"I'm waiting for tonight, and then waiting for tomorrow...
I'm somewhere in between what is real and just a dream"
Somewhere in between complete peace and total despair.

Tentative Travel Dates- Take 3

2008-12-04T17:38:00.002-05:00

I can definitely say that no one said this was going to be easy...

We heard today that we have still not passed through court so our travel dates are pushed back yet again. Our new tentative travel date is December 27th. We don't have any real information on what is going on with our court stuff until our Program Director arrives in Africa and communicates with the local staff on Monday.

So, guess what? We wait...again...isn't this fun???

Tentative Travel Dates- Take 2

2008-11-02T03:31:00.004-05:00

Well, they're called tentative for a reason, right??? We got a phone call from our agency's program director saying that we had a court date on Thursday and we did not pass through. The Ministry of Women's Affairs (the government agency in Ethiopia that processes adoptions) did not send over our approval letter to the courts, so the judge could not finalize the adoption. It happened to our entire travel group.

We have another court date scheduled for early December and got a new tentative travel date of December 13th. We've got another shot to make it before Christmas!

It's confirmed...

2008-10-27T16:37:00.002-04:00

Our son is the cutest baby ever!!

So, here’s the scoop. A couple weeks ago, a girl that we have never met before was visiting Ethiopia and spent some time at our agency’s transitional home where Eli is. After her visit, our agency asked for permission to give my contact info to this girl who had fallen in love with Eli and had some pictures to send me. Of course, I immediately responded “yes!” So, I got an email from her saying:

“Rachel wasn't kidding when she said that I fell in love with Elijah! Those big eyes just captivated me and I couldn't resist holding him at the transition home every day”

Okay, so I know she didn’t exactly use the words “cutest baby ever” but that’s my interpretation :)

All delusions aside…later that day, I was praying for Eli. I prayed the same prayer that Matthew and I have prayed hundreds of times: that he would be well-loved until we can get to him. As I uttered the words, it dawned on me…this prayer had been honored! God sent someone I’ve never even met before, from the States to Ethiopia to love on him! And as if that wasn’t enough, this beautiful person took it upon herself to contact me and bless me with pictures- she never had to take the initiative to do that, and I wouldn’t have known the difference. I believe God wanted me to know he was listening.

I said that this happened a little while ago, and the reason I'm just now mentioning it is because I hesitated to post about it...I just didn't know if everyone else would see it as miraculous as we have. But today I was reflecting on this process and reading my old posts, and I read the one on 7/27. I literally used the words "please pray that Elijah is well-loved" and realized that perhaps you have been praying the same thing. Far be it from me to rob God of his glory!

How many times can this one adoption humble me to tears? Infinitely so, I suppose.

Tentative Travel Dates!!

2008-10-15T20:34:00.003-04:00

We got word today that we are scheduled to travel to Ethiopia November 30-December 5th to pick up Elijah!

My best guess is that our court date is scheduled for early November. As long as everything goes fine at court, then we will leave on 11/30 as scheduled. However, if we don't pass court on the first time there is probably very little chance that we could get Eli home by Christmas...so pray hard folks!

Pictures

2008-10-13T00:49:00.011-04:00

I have several pictures to share ...(no, none of Eli...sorry).

Here is a package that we sent to Eli. It's a blanket that we've been sleeping with and a photo album (courtesy of Dana!) so that he can become familiar with our faces and scents.

These are pictures from my baby shower this weekend:

Christy, Theresia, Judy, Tylaine (best hostess ever!), and baby Lyla who was not too excited about the photo-op. Christy brought her own mug so she could match (just kidding...I hope :)

Three generations (as if you couldn't tell!)

April, Alicia, Erin

Angie, Jesseca, Emily

Suzi, Shelley, Sam, Tarin, Jeanette

Melissa, Stacia, Heather

Sarah (whose husband made the MOST delicioso cheescakes), my mom (who suprised me by flying in!), Sherry (Matt's mom), and Vicki

Cheramy and Shelley

And since my mom was in town, we took her to Pike's Market and did that touristy stuff that you never actually do in the city you live in, until someone visits. Here's me and Matt at the restaurant where Rob Reiner gives Tom Hanks the talk about tiramisu in Sleepless in Seattle.

And this one's for Chrissie :)

2008-10-08T17:36:00.002-04:00

Chrissie requested that I update my blog, so here I am wondering what to write...

We still have not received tentative travel dates yet, but my best guess is late November or early Decemeber.

The main thing that our agency is working on is our court date. They have to have a court date in Ethiopia, and the judge has to approve and finalize our adoption there before we can travel. So often, families don't pass court on the first attempt so our agency has decided to stop telling families when the court dates are- to save the heartache I suppose. One of the best parts of passing court is that we are then free to share all of his pictures and stuff with everyone! So the day you pull up our blog and see his beautiful face, you will know that he is officially ours!

The agency did send us an update on Elijah (that's the name we've given him- we'll share his Ethiopian name when court passes, along with the pictures). He already looks so much older! And they are taking really good care of him at the Transitional Home. But please pray for him, and all the children there, as the staff is constantly battling against pneumonia, malnutrition, etc.

Registered...and overwhelmed

2008-09-10T01:33:00.002-04:00

Matt and I went to register on Saturday. I'm not sure that it accomplished much other than stressing me out. First of all, Babies R Us is a mad house on Saturdays. The sales associate made us listen to a half hour lecture on how to register (and by the way, lady, when someone checks the box "yes, I'm adopting" then they probably don't need to hear about your breast pump rental policies.) But the most stressful part is trying, as first time parents, to figure out what our 8 month old child will need. And talking to other parents of 8 months old doesn't help all that much because their children are not underweight and did not spend their first 8 months in an orphanage. And as if that wasn't enough- staring at all the shampoos and lotions only made me acutely aware that I need to figure out how to do his hair. I'm VERY thankful for Margo who gave me advice on "must-haves" for the trip to Ethiopia, and Suzi who gave me tips on good hair and skincare products.

On a completely different note, while registering we met a gentleman who is expecting twins through a serogate. That is a very interesting process. I hadn't thought about it before, but he was explaining how the children will be his legally from birth. But his wife will have to adopt the children because they used an egg donor. Interesting.

Jehovah Jireh

2008-09-06T18:15:00.002-04:00

I mentioned previously that when we received our referral, we had one week to either accept or reject the referral. What I did not mention is that we also had one week to give our agency $4,000...We had $2,000.

Moving to Seattle depleted much of our savings. Not only was the move itself expensive, but Matthew actually took a lower-paying job and we are living in one expensive city! But we know that if God leads, then he will make the way. We knew we were meant to be in Seattle, and we knew we were meant to adopt.

So when we received our referral, we prayed. We prayed for many things, but among them we prayed for the money to pay our agency. We received our referral on Friday, on Sunday were given a check for $2,000. And we HAD NOT told anyone that we needed $2,000!

So today, and everyday, He is Jehovah Jireh.

God of gods

2008-09-01T14:03:00.004-04:00

Our church is starting a new series entitled the "God of gods." They put together this promo video (scroll to bottom and click "promo video") which was pretty powerful. Adam wrote the script and Tipton put together the video.

Our friend, Andre, narrates the video. He is from Barbados and has a pretty cool accent. When it started playing in the service on Sunday his wife leaned over to their 3 year old son and asked, "do you know who that is speaking?" He looked at her and whispered "It's God!" HAHA! Of course, about a minute later he says "wait a minute, that's Daddy."

Referral Day!

2008-08-29T20:18:00.003-04:00

We got our referral today!

It was all very surreal. I had just arrived at a client's home. As I was getting out of the car I checked my phone, as I always do, to make sure I hadn't missed any calls while jamming in my car :) I had not missed any calls. I sighed a heavy sigh and thought "God, please let us get the call today." And it started ringing!!! In my hand! I wish I could've seen my face! When I answered, Terra (with our adoption agency) said "this is your referral call!" I could tell it is probably the best part of her job. She gave me a little bit of information about his name, birthday, why he was orphaned, and said that she was emailing his picture and the medical information. It took everything I had to actually walk up to my client's door and attempt to work. And just as I was thinking that it was the last place I wanted to be right then, I knock....and no answer. I was never so happy to have a no-show! I rushed home and Matthew and I opened the email together...and then spent the afternoon calling friends and family. We're so excited! I'd give you more information, but we're supposed to keep things confidential until court.

So here's what's next: The courts in Ethiopia are currently closed and will re-open in early October. At that time they can schedule a court date for us. Once we have a successful court date, then travel arrangements can be made. We're told to expect to travel 8-12 weeks from now.

I'm off to stare at our pictures some more!

I have some explaining to do...

2008-08-05T18:00:00.002-04:00

Okay, so since my last post a few people have asked what I mean by "referral." I guess I kind of forget that not everyone is familiar with all of this adoption lingo, so let me explain...

When our agency matches us with a child, they call us with the referral. They send us a picture and a medical record. They recommend that the medical record be reviewed by a pediatrician who specializes in international adoption. We have one week to either accept or reject the referral. If we accept the referral, then they begin doing all the stuff required to secure a court date in Ethiopia to make the adoption legal (legal in Ethiopia- we will have to later come back to the states and adopt him here as well). Now, I say we can reject the referral, but just so you guys have an idea, that rarely ever happens. The only instances I know of that people have rejected their referral (with our agency, anyway) is because they had requested two children but were only referred one. Those families rejected the referral and told the agency they didn't mind waiting longer for siblings.

Once a family receives (and accepts) their referral, they typically travel to Ethiopia to pick up their child 6-8 weeks later. However, just to make things more complicated, Ethiopia courts close for August and September. So if a family receives a referral during that time (which is when we expect ours- naturally!) then the wait will be longer- more like 8-12 weeks. And THEN he is home with us!

Whew! I think that makes sense!

We're getting close people!

2008-07-25T21:46:00.002-04:00

I don't have much to update on, but we've been waiting for a referral for 6 months almost. The exciting news is that people who sent their dossiers to Ethiopia one week before us have started receiving referrals!!

The reality that our son is likely born by now is starting to hit. Please pray that wherever he is, that he is being well-loved.

Closing on Monday!

2008-06-21T17:57:00.002-04:00

Here's our new home, Lord willing! We signed all of the paperwork and handed over our down payment and closing costs on Thursday. The funding finalizes the deal on Monday, and we take possession on Thursday. We're really looking forward to living in, and investing in, the community of our church.

Two steps forward...

2008-06-02T01:14:00.002-04:00

And you know the rest of that sentence.

We have officially been waiting four months for our referral for a baby boy. Unfortunately, our agency has now officially stated that the wait time for a baby boy has increased from 5-7 months to 7-9 months. Boo! From what I understand, a lot of it has to do with a drought in Ethiopia causing power outages in the country. So, we still have 3-5 months to wait. It's kind of sad because one month ago I was saying 2-4 months. But rest assured, we continue to praise and rest upon Him from whom all blessings flow- even if it does seem like a carrot is being dangled in front of my face :)

Matt's on itunes

2008-05-29T17:16:00.002-04:00

Matt might kill me for broadcasting this, but if you want to hear him preach you can find him on an itunes podcast. The easiest way to find it is probably to go to our church's website and click on the purple podcast icon. If you have itunes on your computer it'll pop right up. He did a great job so go listen and be dominated! (You have to listen to know what I mean by that :)

I've got a job

2008-05-11T21:03:00.003-04:00

I forgot to let you all know that I found a job (notice how I said "you all" rather than "y'all"??? I'm already being altered by the culture!)

Anyway, I found a job as an in-home therapist. Basically, I get referrals from the state agency to go help families that are in need of help for various reasons- they could be a foster family with an out-of-control foster child, they could have safety concerns in the home that need to be addressed, they could have a developmentally delayed/disabled child that they don't know how to parent most effectively, etc. I started a little over a week ago, and so far so good. It's very flexible and allows me to basically make my own schedule.

Oh, and this is random, but I needed to let a few people know that Grey's Anatomy is actually not filmed in Seattle. So, I am unable to stalk any McSteamy's or McDreamy's for autographs. But if I ever find myself in Hollywood I'll do my best :)

Welcome to Washington

2008-04-28T21:10:00.002-04:00

Everyone has been saying "you're going to love the summer here- it's amazing." I have been fervently holding to that hope because when I arrived it was snowing and hailing (that doesn't suit a Texas girl much). But last weekend Matt and I got a beginners glimpse at what everyone has been talking about:

Otherwise, there isn't too much to update on. The Journey Church did celebrate our two year anniversary last weekend- yay! What I've been told is that if a church plant makes it through their third year, their survival chances grow exponentially.

And on Thursday our adoption wait drops down to 2-4 months.

We're Here!!

2008-04-17T17:34:00.002-04:00

We've finally made it to Seattle! It took 5 days of driving. Well, 4 days of driving and a one-day stop in Denver just to take a break.

Not much to say now. We're pretty busy already- Matt getting back into the swing of things with work. I'm job-hunting, grocery shopping, doing laundry. All that fun stuff. And once the job-hunting is completed, then starts the house-hunting. Once the house-hunting is done, then the home study addendum begins.

Keep us in your prayers, and we'll keep you in the loop!

Two Months Down!

2008-04-01T21:19:00.002-04:00

March was a long month! I naively thought that it would fly by. Matt has been in Seattle all month, while I am hanging behind in Louisville. I had a weekend trip to Seattle, a wedding, and packing up the apartment to keep me busy. But being separated from my husband made the days go by so slow. (Hmm, I just read that back and feel the need to clarify that we are not "separated." We are just in the process of making a cross-country move.) The good news is that Matt comes back to KY on Monday. We will finish packing up and then make the long drive to Seattle sometime next week.

The other good news is that we have two months down in our adoption wait, which leaves us with 3-5 months to go! We are getting closer, but still- it is quite amazing to me that women can grow an entire human being in their uterus quicker than I can bring one home from Ethiopia! It literally makes me marvel at the wonders of what God can do!

Wedding Time!

2008-03-30T16:38:00.005-04:00

At last! After Dan's safe (thank God!) return from Afghanistan, he and Keriann finally had their wedding ceremony. We had a blast, and it was so great to see them in the same room together again :)

And these are the best co-workers in the world that I am going to miss sooo much!

John Piper

2008-03-07T16:18:00.002-05:00

Seeing the video blog of John Piper that karen posted reminded me of this letter. It is the letter Piper wrote to his wife telling her he was ready to move forward with adoption. I'll only post part of it, but the entire letter can be found on his web site (link at right) or in the book Godward Life.

"Dear Noël,

With confidence in the all-sufficient future grace of God, I am ready and eager to move ahead with the adoption of Talitha Ruth...I realize more than ever that “the mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” This decision is not merely a tabulation of pros and cons. I would be deceiving myself to think that. Yet I am persuaded that this decision to adopt honors God more than not adopting. To my perspective, it seems to be the path that will “spread a passion for the supremacy of God in all things for the joy of all peoples.” I believe it will bless Bethlehem and not hinder our work there. I believe it is the path of the greatest love for the greatest number. And therefore I have confidence that God is pleased with it...I thank God for you. I enter with you gladly on this path. Whether we live to see our daughter grown or not, we will have done well to take her in...

I love you,
Johnny"

I hope this letter inspires a passion for adoption in others as it has in us!

One month down

2008-03-01T17:16:00.002-05:00

and 4-6 to go. Our agency confirmed the wait time that I mentioned in the last post. The wait officially begins when your dossier (a.k.a. four pound bundle of paperwork) is sent to Ethiopia. For us, that was 2/1/08. So, like I said, one month down!

Movin' on up

2008-02-25T21:02:00.003-05:00

Geographically, not economically :) Matt and I are moving to Seattle! Matt has accepted a position as Associate Pastor of Growth at a church called The Journey. It's not exactly going to be an immediate move, but more of a process over the next couple of months- we'll keep you updated as we progress.

Many have asked how it will affect (effect? I never know which one to use) our adoption. All I can tell you is what our Family Coordinator had to say via email:
"Hi Nicole, I will make the changes. This should not affect your adoption. If you do not receive a referral by June then you will need to contact your social worker to do an addendum which you can take with you to Ethiopia upon travel. Blessings." Good news, eh?

But it brings me to another frequently asked question: How long until you receive a referral? I believe they are quoting a 5-7 month wait for an infant boy referral. So for those of you counting down with us that would be sometime between July and August (Lord willing, of course!). Looks like we'll have plenty to keep us busy while we wait!

Had to have it...

2008-02-07T18:58:00.000-05:00

Matt bought me this giraffe that I fell in love with. It was our first baby item- yes, our priorities are straight people!

And who could resist this from the gap for $7.99??

As for other news, we found out that our dossier arrived in Ethiopia today!

Dossier being sent to Ethiopia tomorrow!

2008-01-31T22:34:00.000-05:00

I heard from our family coordinator today that our dossier has been reviewed, certified and authenticated. It is being FedExed to Ethiopia tomorrow!

Once again, we have to praise God for getting us through one more step smoothly. I had felt fairly confident, after having reviewed our paperwork a billion times, that it was all in order; but you never know. So, I was so relieved to hear that it had been reviewed and passed inspection, so to speak. Plus the agreement from our agency says that they have a week to review the dossier, then three weeks to certify and authenticate it- totaling a month. Ours was done in less than a week!

It is so humbling to know that God is guiding all of our steps and meeting all of our needs. It's amazing to think He is ensuring that we complete all of our tasks at just the right time so that we are brought together with the child He has chosen as ours.

It's out of our hands...

2008-01-25T21:16:00.000-05:00

It's official! Our dossier arrived at AWAA this morning and it is literally out of our hands. Of course, we know it was never really in our hands in the first place. So we wait...

I Heart Frankfort

2008-01-22T22:18:00.000-05:00

Matt and I made the trek to our state capital, Frankfort, to have the last of the paperwork certified. We were strangely excited about the drive because it's such a light at the end of the tunnel. And it was snowing today which is just an added bonus for us Texans-at-heart.

When we walked into the capital building we were promptly greeted by a security guard who took one look at us and said "You here to see the Secretary of State?" As we blankly stared at him with our puzzled what-gave-us-away looks, he knowingly nodded at the binder I was holding and said "It was all the papers." He pointed us in the right direction and within moments we were meeting with the lady who would be certifying all our documents. She looked through them all and unfortunately informed us that two of our documents still needed the county clerk's certification before she could certify them. Just as I was about to start sobbing right in front of her, she quickly consoled me by saying that the county clerk we needed was located just a mile down the street. She quickly pulled out a map, instructed us to get the documents signed and said when we got back she would be done with our other papers. And it actually did go this smoothly! She gave us her name and number in case we need anything and asked us to send a picture when the adoption is complete. I'm so doing it! I think all state capitals should be located in small towns like Frankfort. There's no way we would've gotten out of Austin that easy!

We've been so blessed through this process. We want everyone to know that your prayers are working greatly. Even when we hit hiccups like today- the fix has been so simple. And, tomorrow, we're planning to courier all our documents to America World for final review. I won't have to worry about fires anymore!

Whew!

2008-01-16T18:18:00.000-05:00

We received our I-797C today! (That's the approval from immigration to bring an orphan into the country that was mentioned in a previous post.) We were told it takes 6-12 weeks to receive, but we got ours in less than 2! This a huge milestone for us because it means that we have obtained EVERY piece of paperwork required. Now we have to take all the papers to the county clerk for certification and then the Secretary of State in Frankfort for more certification. It's such a relief, but now that we have all the papers in our possession I have this reocurring nightmare that our place catches on fire and we lose it all!

On another note, we are reading some books that we agreed to read for the home study. I've finished the first one called Lifebooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child. It's a good book for adoptive/foster families. It really shows you why Lifebooks are so important and gives very specific examples and instructions on how to complete them for all different ages and circumstances. I recommend it if you're trying to find motivation to get one started.

To answer Sarah's question....

2008-01-07T19:45:00.000-05:00

Sarah asked, as many others have, why I refer to our future child as a "son" and whether that means we know which child we will be adopting. No, at this stage we do not know which child we will be adopting; however, when we applied to America World they asked about the child we would like to adopt. So, we "requested" (if you will) a boy, 0-12 months old. Matt really didn't care about the gender, but I leaned toward male for reasons that I can't really explain. So, there you have it!

USCIS

2008-01-04T17:55:00.000-05:00

Matt and I went to the USCIS office to submit our 1-600A yesterday. Translation: we went to the immigration office to apply for approval to bring our child from overseas and eventually obtain citizenship. After hearing many horror stories about the immigration office, I have to say, we were pleasantly surprised. We walked in with an appointment for noon. They actually saw us exactly at noon! Then we were instructed to go to the fingerprinting room and told "if there are too many people and you don't have time to wait, you can set a time to come back." We really didn't want to have to come back, so we went to check out the wait. Once again we were pleasantly surprised when there was not a single person in line. The staff person was literally sitting at his desk with his legs propped up, watching TV. The only frustration was when I tried to turn in the home study (which is part of the application) I was informed that the home study agency has to mail that themselves directly. Silly me. The application reads "Contact your Home Study agency to clarify if they will send your final home study. If they do not provide this service, it is your responsibility." I interpreted that to mean that I could actually take the responsibility of providing it! I was about to (politely, of course) point this out, but if social work has taught me anything it is that arguing/reasoning with a government agency is useless. So instead I asked for an estimation on how long the approval process will take. She said that are current on all I-600A's and they should get it done as soon as they receive the home study. That was even better news, so all-in-all we were pleased to walk out of the courthouse 20 minutes after noon.

Christmas

2007-12-27T22:38:00.000-05:00

We had a great time spending Christmas in Texas with our family and friends. We ate great (pot roast, Jesse's prime rib, Pappasito's, and dessert galore at mom's). And we made out like bandits. Among many things, mom and dad gave us a video camera to take to Ethiopia. But in the meantime, we used it to video our precious nieces. Here is a preview for Gary and Sherry who were unable to be with us:
Brionna wanted to sing with her new karoake machine, but she didn't know any of those silly "wheels on the bus" or "if you're happy and you know it songs." So we had to put on Fergie for her. But those pesky dogs are all in her way!

When Genna was asked if she wanted to make a video for Grandma and Grandpa, she jumped at the chance! But she is used to video-phone so she was a little confused about why she couldn't see them at first. But once she got the hang of it "The Genna Show" was on! Be prepared for some serious rambling, Grandma and Grandpa! This is only the first 2 minutes of some serious 3 year old chatter!

Ahhh!

2007-12-10T22:13:00.000-05:00

Well, sadly, I had to miss the annual Christmas get-together with my "SWT Girlfriends" since I am so far from Dallas these days- although Kay clearly has the best excuse for missing, considering she has been residing in the jungle (literally). But they sent me this picture and it warms my heart! I truly miss you girls and REALLY appreciate you thinking of me at Girls' Night!!

Shout out to Keriann!!

2007-11-19T21:40:00.000-05:00

I want to publicly and personally express my gratitude to Keriann who has done three very important things regarding the adoption:
1) She let me drag her to my bank to notarize my employment verification. And when my bank was closed she took me to her bank- on her one day to flex out of work early.
2) She completed a reference form within about two hours when I had to ask her to make up for our other references who are totally slacking (Yeah, you know who you are!!!)
3) She was the very first person to say "congratulations" to me when I said I was adopting. I know that sounds so simple, but adopting is a funny thing. When you say "I'm adopting" people tend to say things such as "Oh, that's neat" or "what made you want to do that?" I rarely hear "congratulations" the way that a pregnant woman would.

So, thanks a million Keriann. The most meaningful thing I can think to do in return is to ask everyone reading this to pray for her fiance's safety while he fights for us in Afghanistan and prepares to return in January.

Home study done!

2007-11-12T18:40:00.000-05:00

Our part anyway...We had the last of three meetings with our home study specialist (Mandy) today, and I'm pretty sure we've given her all the paperwork we owed her. So next week sometime she is supposed to email us a rough draft of the home study to review.

In our meeting today we discussed issues like attachment and bonding. She recommended not allowing anyone aside from ourselves to care for the child for the first month or two (i.e. no daycare, no church nursery). Which may sound ridiculous and extreme to some people I'm sure, but I've actually experienced caring for someone's recently adopted daughter...and she really did seem to be traumitized by the experience so I'm taking Mandy's word as golden. You know what that means- I will be one of those people who takes their child into the church service only to completely distract everyone else! I apologize in advance to our fellow Cliftonites!

Here are our next steps in the adoption process: we are currently waiting on a couple Letters of Reference. Once those are recieved, we will have obtained all of our paperwork (Yay!) At that time we will send EACH document back to their respective Secretary of State for authentication. We also need to apply to the USCIS (US Citizen and Immigration Services, formerly INS) to adopt internationally, but we're still saving for that fee. We're making good progress! I even got my passport last week (Matt said he thought I'd won the lottery by how excited I was by this).

This one's for you, Margo (Ask and you shall receive!)

2007-10-30T21:59:00.001-04:00

Blondes DO have more fun!

Since Matt and I are in penny-pinching mode for the adoption fees, I have bitten the bullet and returned to, what I can only guess might be, my natural hair color. I'm none too excited about it, and as I've already warned Matt- if this doesn't work out for me I will have to schedule an appointment with my "chemical technician", Jackie, and beg her forgiveness for committing the cardinal cosmetology sin of trying to color my hair myself.

But in the meantime, I keep reminding myself of one detail: "My son IS more important than my hair."

Homestudy

2007-10-29T22:54:00.000-04:00

We began our homestudy last week. It was the first of four meetings. To be honest, the first meeting was pretty much pointless. All it did was put a name with a face for the company we are working with to adopt. However, we have our 2nd and 3rd meetings for our homestudy this week. On Friday Nikki and I will take our psycho/social exams to see if we are fit to be parents and stable adults. I'm not worried about my side, but Nikki is a different story. JUST KIDDING!! Ha!Ha! honey!
Then we have an immense amount of paperwork. It's kinda silly really. We have to get almost everything notarized, but that isn't enough. Then we have to take the notarized forms to the County Clerk of the county that the notary was comissioned in and make sure it's valid. WOW! What a bureaucratic mess.
But I am sure it will all be worth it in the end. I try to remember that our adoption by God was costly and required sacrifice. So it is fitting that our adoption of a child requires the same.

Happy Birthday Matthew!

2007-10-18T23:29:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow Matt turns "the big 3-0." He's slightly devastated by this, but we celebrated tonight anyway. It was kind of a strange evening- it's a long story that involves us sitting in our unfinished basement, listening to tornado sirens, and drinking wine with our good friends JP, Shanna, and a complete stranger who drank our wine and stole our towel. But in the end we ended up at the Vietnam Kitchen sharing good times with good friends. And to everyone who participated in Matt's scrapbook- thanks so much! He really enjoyed reading all the notes everyone sent in.

Why Ethiopia?

2007-10-10T14:51:00.000-04:00

Through this process we are often asked, "Why Ethiopia?"

Initially Nikki and I wanted to adopt from Sudan. The intense war going on, and horrific violence is heartbreaking and has produced over a million refugees. We wanted to try and save a child from this disaster. Some U.N. reports suggests that as a result of the war, 500,000 children are orphaned!!!!! 500,000!! Can you fathom this? Unfortunately, Sudan is not allowing any adoptions because they are in the middle of a civil war. So we began to hear that the estimated 1.2 MILLION refugees from the civil war were fleeing to neighboring countries such as Ethiopia. Hence, we began praying toward adopting from Ethiopia.
We chose to adopt from Ethiopia for several reasons. First, we wanted to adopt a child from an area of the world in which the child would be unlikely to be raised in a Christian home or perhaps even hear the gospel. We are praying that God would use us as a means of grace to communicate and display the gospel for this child in hope that God will open the child's eyes to see and cherish Christ. Second, we wanted to adopt from a country or region of extreme poverty so that we may share what blessings the Lord has given us and meet the physical needs of the child. It breaks our heart that so many children suffer from neglect, lack proper medical care and die of starvation. We want to put and end to that for a child and meet their physical needs as best we can. Third and not least, we chose Ethiopia because the Lord led us to choose Ethiopia through many prayerful nights.

Home Study

2007-10-07T21:30:00.000-04:00

I've heard a million times that the adoption process is slow and requires much patience, which I always believed. But I never knew HOW very slow it can feel at times- times when there is absolutely nothing you can do to help speed the process along.

But, alas, we have scheduled the first of three meetings with our Home Study Specialist for October 24th (just in time to avoid the increase in home study fees that they just announced to be effective November 1st- praise God!) Our first meeting with Mandy will be at her office. I've only spoken with her on the phone once, but she seems very kind and genuinely excited for us and others adopting from Ethiopia.

So essentially, we're still waiting. But at least we have something to anticipate!

Adoption Is The Gospel

2007-10-03T14:06:00.000-04:00

Nikki and I are very thankful for the opportunity to adopt a child. Adoption is something we have talked about since even before we were married. It has been exciting to share with family and friends that the Lord has led us to this point.
The adoption process is slow and at times arduous. However, we are learning so much through the process, most importantly, that adoption is the heart of the gospel. More on this later.

In the mean time, here are some thoughts concerning adoption:

First, adoption is not plan B. It is not secondary in any way. Adoption is of preeminent importance to us and is not a backup plan. It has surprised me to hear how many people think this way about adoption. Often their thinking goes, if you cannot have biological children, and you want children, then you just adopt someone's baby they didn't want. This is not adoption. This is self-centered self-gratification. We consider adoption to be of equal importance and an equally great blessing as having biological children.

Second, we believe adoption done from a heart of faith is a beautiful act of obedience that is immensely pleasing to the Lord. As we have discussed adoption intensely the last few months, it has become ever more apparent that adoption fulfills a myriad of Scripture. Such as:

Matthew 22:34-40 "Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question; 'Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law?' Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it, Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments'.

Proverbs 14:21 "He who despises his neighbor sins, but blessed is he who is kind to the needy".

Proverbs 31:8-9 "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy".

Deuteronomy 15:7,8, 11 "If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the Lord your God is giving to you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother. Rather be openhanded and freely lend him whatever he needs.... Therefore I (God) command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land".

Mark 9:36-37 "Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, 'If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all'. He took a little child and had him stand among them. 'Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me'.

James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world".

And there are many others.
To be continued...

Words of wisdom from Jim Elliot....

2007-09-13T22:34:00.000-04:00

As Matt and I have pondered and prayed about what our "next step" in life is, I have found peace in words from missionary martyr, Jim Elliot, as written in his biography Shadow of the Almighty:

"I asked [God] earnestly for some token of guidance to be shown...Got none. It is clear to me tonight that I can do quite well without that guidance for now. God is going to give me a specific leading-not when I ask for it, but when I need it, and not until then."

"Guidance for Israel in their wandering was unquestionable. There could be no doubt if God wished them to move. Shall my Father be less definite with me? I cannot believe so. Often I doubt for I cannot see, but surely the Spirit will lead as definitely as the pillar of cloud. I must be as willing to remain as to go."

Here we go....

2007-09-12T20:06:00.000-04:00

I never thought I'd be a blogger- considering I'm a person of few words most of the time. But this seems to be the "thing to do" if you're adopting a child. And now I know why...if you're lucky you have many friends and family who share in the joy and want to experience the process with you. And we are VERY lucky (oh, excuse me, Matt does not believe in luck.) Let me rephrase: We are very blessed by the divine sovereignty of God.

So, here we go....Let me catch everyone up to speed. Matt graduated from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in May. We're currently praying that God will lead us to our next place of ministry. In addition, we are in the process of adopting a child from Ethiopia through America World Adoption agency. Today, we mailed in our Program Agreement and first payment. Once the agency receives these items, we will be assigned a Family Coordinator who will guide us through the process.

We want to keep everyone up-to-date on our circumstances, and hope that you will join us in prayer accordingly. So check back!